I’m sure you’ve heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whther you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.
The glass is half full.
The glass is half empty.
- Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
- Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
- Basic programmers:
No thanks; I’m still breast feeding.
- Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
- C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
What makes you think that’s milk?
- National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!
- Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.
We know what it really is.
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here?
WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!
- Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?
- Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don’t hold me to that.
- Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it – just don’t ask me how.
- Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it!
If we worship it, it will feel better.
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?
- Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind!
The milk’s in the wrong half of the glass.
- Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Rent the glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is
good for you.
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big
enough for everyone to enjoy.
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
- Mac users:
Where’s my pump?
I’LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
That stupid cat got into the milk again!
- Security consultant:
Where’d the rest of the milk go?
- Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
- UI designers:
What’s that crap in my glass?
- UNIX users:
Nahh … too easy.
- Windows users:
Where’s my straw?