I’m sure you’ve heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whther you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.
- Optimist:
The glass is half full. - Pessimist:
The glass is half empty. - Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier. - Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow. - Basic programmers:
No thanks; I’m still breast feeding. - Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk. - C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug. - CIA:
What makes you think that’s milk? - National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ! - Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking. - NSA:
We know what it really is. - Paranoid:
Here is a glass just sitting here. Why? Who put it here?
WHY WHY WHY!!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!! - Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it? - Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don’t hold me to that. - Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it – just don’t ask me how. - Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it! - Faith-healer:
If we worship it, it will feel better. - Feminist:
How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE? - Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind! - Futurist:
The milk’s in the wrong half of the glass. - Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk. - IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is
good for you. - Idealist:
In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big
enough for everyone to enjoy. - IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year. - Mac users:
Where’s my pump? - MIS:
I’LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR. - Schroedinger:
That stupid cat got into the milk again! - Security consultant:
Where’d the rest of the milk go? - Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for. - UI designers:
What’s that crap in my glass? - UNIX users:
Nahh … too easy. - Windows users:
Where’s my straw?