Elementary School Days

  • TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
  • TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
    GEORGE: Here it is!
    TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
    CLASS: George!
  • TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
    WILLY: Me!
  • TEACHER: Why are you late?
    WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
    TEACHER: What sign?
    WEBSTER: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
  • SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
    FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
    SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
  • TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
    SAMMY: You can’t fool me, Teacher… snakes don’t have feet.
  • TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
    ELLEN: I is…
    TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am.”
    ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
  • TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
    CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands