The Truth About Cats

  • Dogs come when they’re called; Cats take a message and get back to you later.
  • Cats don’t like being baptized.
  • Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
  • A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.
  • A cat will always sit on whatever you’re trying to read.
  • A cat’s purr: The most effective stress medicine known.
  • Cats are quite good at domesticating humans.
  • Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
  • Cats know Mom’s black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be killed.
  • Cats must attack their human’s shoelaces when they are tying them.
  • Cats must crawl into the dishwasher when it is full of clean dishes.
  • It’s always darkest before you step on the cat.
  • Cats must rub against your legs while you’re carrying two bags of groceries.
  • You’re not a real person until you’re ignored by a cat.