To: All Employees
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
- Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
- Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden. (It runs up an incredible long distance bill.)
- Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
- Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house.
- All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
- Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.”
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have
a Happy Holiday.