Biblical Spokespersons

What if biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:

  • Noah for
    We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?
  • Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (
    Take two tablets and call me in the morning.
  • The dove for
    Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.
  • Adam and Eve for Dell:
    No Apples for us. We’ve learned the hard way.
  • Solomon for Microsoft:
    Don’t cut the baby in half.
  • Joseph for Nikon Coolpix:
    Only Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dreamcoat.
  • Methuselah for
    Life begins at 960.
  • John the Baptist for
    You’ll be head over heels for our new Munchkin platter.
  • Pharaoh for Symantec:
    If only we’d had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002 … B.C.E.
  • Job for NASDAQ:
    ‘Nuff said.