- Jam 39 miniature marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
- Find out what a frog in the blender really looks like.
- Forget the diet center and send yourself a candy gram.
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Tattoo “OUT TO LUNCH” on your forehead.
- Buy a subscription to Sleazoid Weekly and send it to your bosses wife.
- Relaxing by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the “Flintstones” during an important finance meeting.
- Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
- Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Tell your boss to blow it out his mule, and let him figure it out.
- Polish your car with earwax.
- Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
- Lie on your back; eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper.
- Make a tape recording of a lion roaring and play it while frolicking with your kitten in front of the neighbors.
- Ask your neighbor if anything got broken in last night’s earth quake.
- Ride up the escalator facing backwards.
- Write a letter to the editor condemning scientists for trying to wipe out whole species like the AIDs virus.
- Phone the minister of finance and demand a tax increase.
- Send a letter of resignation from your boss to your boss’ boss.
- Write your boss’ resume and submit it to various headhunters.
- Phone your dentist and tell him you’ve changed your mind, you want that wisdom tooth back.
- Tell your husband/wife he/she was adopted. <duh, huh?>
- Phone the university and report that you are an extraterrestrial and would they volunteer to return to your home planet.
- Phone any government agency and ask them “So just what is it you people do all day anyway?”
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