Signs You’ve Been in Glasgow Too Long

  • You say ‘pish’ all the time.
  • You say ‘aye’ all the time.
  • You end sentences with ‘like’ i.e. ‘I’m no goin’ there, like, it’s pish’
  • You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it ‘tastes of pish, like’
  • You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.
  • You punch everybody you meet.
  • You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you meet.
  • You are incomprehensible.
  • People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.
  • You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words ‘Edinburgh’ or ‘England’.
  • You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried pizzas you have consumed since birth.