You Know You’re In Phoenix When…

  • You buy salsa by the gallon.
  • Your Christmas decorations includes a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.
  • You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
  • All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
  • You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
  • Most of the restaurants in town have the first name “El” or “Los”.
  • You think 6 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
  • You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can’t remember the name of the incumbent.
  • Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
  • You can say Hohokam and people don’t think you’re laughing funny.
  • You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
  • Every other vehicle is a 4×4.
  • Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
  • People break out coats when temperature drops below 70.
  • The pool can be warmer than you are.
  • Most homes have more firearms than people.
  • Kids will ask, “What’s a mosquito?”
  • People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
  • The AC Service Man is on your list of best friends.
  • Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.
  • You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
  • The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
  • You can (correctly) pronounce the words: “Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “Gila Bend”, “San Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, “Cholla”, and “Ajo”.