You Might be From Michigan…

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  • If you define summer as three months of bad sledding.
  • If you think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
  • If you can identify an Ohio accent.
  • If your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack of Strohs and a bucket of smelt.
  • If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your hometown.
  • If you know someone from Porch Yeurn.
  • If you know what a “Yooper” is.
  • If your car rusts out before you need the brakes done
  • If you know what a panczki is.
  • If half the people you know say they are from Detroit, yet you don’t personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
  • If the Big Mac is something you drive across.
  • If you believe “Down South” refers to Toledo.
  • If “Up North” means north of Clare.
  • If you drive 75 on the highway and always pass on the right.
  • If your little league baseball game has ever been snowed out.
  • If you know what a pastie is.
  • If you knew how to drive a boat before you learned to ride a bicycle.
  • If you know Mackinac rhymes with Mackinaw.
  • If you occasionally cheer “Go Lions-and take the Tigers with you.”
  • If the word “Thumb” brings to mind a geographical rather than an anatomical definition.
  • If you’ve ever experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
  • If you expect Vernor’s when you order Ginger Ale.
  • If you know that Kalamazoo not only actually exists, but isn’t too far from Hell.
  • If your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the first day of deer season.
  • If your snowmobile and fishing boat have big block Chevy engines.
  • If either your Mother or Father disowns you for the week of the Michigan-Michigan State game.
  • If your year has two seasons-winter and construction.
  • If you know what a millage is.
  • If traveling coast-to-coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
  • If half of the change in your pocket is Canadian.
  • If you point to the palm of your right hand when explaining to people where you grew up.
  • If you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
  • If your definition of a small town is one that doesn’t have a lake
  • If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)
  • If snow tires come standard on all your cars.
  • If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
  • If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike.
  • If you don’t understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
  • If someone asks you if you’ve been to Europe and you answer, “No, but I’ve been to Ann Arbor”.
  • If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
  • If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
  • If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
  • If you think “going up north” would be a great vacation….in January.
  • If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as “trolls” or “lopers”.
  • If the “Big Three” can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino’s, Little Ceasers’s and Hungry Howie’s.
  • If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
  • If you had to get a passport to go to Ohio.
  • If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
  • If your kid’s baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out.
  • If the trees in your backyard have spigots.
  • If you know that a place called “Kalamazoo” really exists.
  • If you bake with “soda” and drink “pop”.
  • If you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
  • If your favorite hockey team’s mascot is an octopus.
  • If you have a favorite hockey team.
  • If you don’t have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor’s.
  • If you know how to play Euchre.
  • If you know how to pronounce Euchre.
  • If you see nothing wrong with watching fireworks in Detroit on July 2nd.
  • If you find yourself incapable of throwing cans and bottles away when you are in another state.
  • If you use the term “party store” to describe a store where you buy snacks, beer and liquor.
  • If you know how to pronounce Sault Ste. Marie.
  • If you get excited about turning 19.
  • If you or your child has ever watched Sesame Street in French.
  • If you’ve used the term “Yooper.”
  • If you’ve heard the band “Da Yoopers.”
  • If you know the words to any song by Da Yoopers.
  • If you’ve ever told someone that your move to Alpena was a move to “a big city”.
  • If you’ve totaled more than three cars bagging a deer.
  • If you met your spouse in a bowling alley.
  • If you can’t understand why the government feels threatened by the Freemen.
  • If Paradise and Climax are not states but towns to you.
  • If you know that Kazoo is not a toy, but a town (who actually calls it Kalamazoo anyway?).
  • If you refer to Ann Arbor as A2.