Yo Momma So Fat

  • When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
  • When she dances she makes the band skip.
  • When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
  • She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
  • Her ass has its own congressman.
  • Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
  • When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
  • Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
  • Her driver’s license says “Picture continued on other side.”
  • The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
  • “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
  • All the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”
  • When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
  • When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
  • She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
  • She’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
  • When I yell “Kool-Aid,” she comes crashing through the wall.
  • She could sell shade.
  • When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
  • People jog around her for exercise.
  • I ran around her twice and got lost.
  • She gets runs in her jeans.
  • Her blood type is Ragu.
  • When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.
  • If she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take their word for it!
  • She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
  • When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
  • She can’t even jump to a conclusion.
  • She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
  • Her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.