How to be Politic’lly Correct

Don’t call that schlub a “fatty,” for it’s simply not allowed;
He’s now “physic’lly expansive” or “nutritionally endowed;”

That clod repeating seventh grade? He’s not a knucklehead;
“Scholastic’lly persistent” is the phrase to use instead;

Don’t talk of “dwarfs” or “midgets” both are terms you should revise;
Today, they’re known as “persons of a non-excessive size;”

You’ll find you’re not offending any group or race or sect
As long as what you’re saying is Politic’lly Correct.

Our nation has no “Indians” in case you haven’t heard,
“Indigenous Americans” is now the term preferred;

Don’t call that drifter “homeless” that’s the no-no of the year;
He’s a “worker in transition” or “an urban pioneer.”

Don’t call that guy in women’s clothes a weirdo or a freak;
He’s “a fashion nonconformist with a lifestyle that’s unique.”

No lack of sensivity will anyone detect
As long as ev’ry comment is Politic’lly Correct.

To psychopathic killers, nicer labels we’re now giving;
They’re “gentlemen who specialize in terminating living;”

Don’t call that creep a “rapist”, he might think you were unkind;
He’s “a sexual crusader” who’s “assertively inclined;”

As for all those scuzzy pushers hooking kids throughout the land,
They’re now “inner city merchants with a product in demand;”

So make certain that you’re careful with the words that you select;
And we guarantee you’ll always be Politic’lly Correct.