If Bill Clinton Were in Star Wars…

  • “Well, it depends on your definition of ‘father’, Luke.”
  • “Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?”
  • “I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military… Okay, now I don’t.”
  • “Oh-h-h, you’re looking for a little *WOOKIE*… Well, that’s different.”
  • “Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I’m your father, too. And that Queen chick? I’m her daddy for sure. And Leia’s. And Lando’s, Boba Fett’s, Jabba the Hutt’s, Chewie’s…”
  • “Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!”
  • “I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music.”
  • “Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster — and make it look like a suicide.”
  • “I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky.”
  • “It’s a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away — and I’m still a lyin’ weasel.”
  • “Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac — not excuses.”
  • “Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work.”
  • “These are not the droids you’re looking for, Ma’am. Say, it’s getting hot in here — you might want to take off your top.”
  • “She’s my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain’t an obstacle!”