Signs the Ice Cream Truck Driver is Crazy

  • Number of kills clearly marked on the side of his truck.
  • He’s paranoid because he’s “always being followed by someone disguised as little children.”
  • His route takes him down your street at precisely 3:30 am every morning.
  • Comes to work wearing only a strategically placed waffle cone.
  • Happy calliope music replaced with Mozart’s “Requiem.”
  • On Tuesdays, drives backwards and demands ice cream from little kids.
  • Ice cream sandwiches come with alfalfa sprouts, Dijon mustard and a pickle.
  • “Ice cream! Get your… HEY, YOU GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY TRUCK! …..Ice cream, get your ice cream!…”