AOL’s New Offer

Check out AOL’s new offer: 1000 hours free for 45 days. You’ve got to love how these guys think.

It is technically possible to use 1000 hours in 45 days. It would leave you 80 hours of non-computer time in your month and a half. We can start off by assuming you’re not employed or a student, because if you were, you wouldn’t be using AOL in the first place. You now have 1 hour and 45 minutes each day that are non-AOL.

Let’s keep you sane — you can sleep an hour a day. Leaves 45 minutes.

Eating, even if mostly done in front of the computer, is going to take some time going back and forth to the kitchen and wiping crumbs off the keyboard. 15 minutes more, down to half an hour.

Basic bodily functions, (even if you skip showering for six weeks . . . ewww) will take another 15 minutes a day if you really conserve trips.

That leaves you 15 minutes to yourself per day, time you can use to sit back, close your eyes, and reflect on what an absolute freaking loser you are.

Thanks, Ray! If you *love* AOL as much as Ray does, you need to check out A Joke a Day. They have been making fun of Morons since 1995, and show no signs of ever stopping!