Why Dogs are Better than Girlfriends

  • Dogs love it when your friends come over.
  • Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
  • Dogs think you sing great.
  • A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
  • Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you.
  • Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  • Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  • Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.
  • Dogs love red meat.
  • Anyone can get a good looking dog.
  • If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
  • Dogs don’t shop.
  • Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
  • A dog’s disposition stays the same throughout the entire month.
  • Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
  • A dog’s parents never visit.
  • Dogs love long car trips.
  • Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
  • Dogs understand that everything smaller than it is meant to be chased.
  • Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
  • No dog ever bought Kenny G, Yanni, or Barbra Streisand albums.
  • No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
  • Dogs never criticize.
  • Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  • Dogs never expect gifts.
  • Dogs don’t worry about germs.
  • Dogs don’t care about or get jealous of any other dog you ever had.
  • Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet desk and the backs of your drawers.
  • Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
  • Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
  • You never have to wait for a dog. They’re always ready to go.
  • Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
  • Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
  • Dogs aren’t catty.
  • Dogs seldom outlive you.