For those of you not on AOL – AOL puts up a message when you’ve been online for 46 minutes making sure you are really there and active.

• You have been online for 46 minutes.
  Do you want to stay online?
  Please respond within 10 min. or you will be logged off.
• You have been online for 135 minutes.
  Not to put any pressure on you, but there ARE other people in the world who would like to sign on.
  Let’s show some sorry consideration for our fellow members and sign off, whaddya say?
• You DO realize that you’ve been online for 184 minutes, right?
  When was the last time you went outside?
• OK. This is getting ridiculous.
  Frankly, you’re starting to piss us off!
  If you sign off now, we’ll bring back your Buddy List OK?
  Yep, Finally
• You have been online for 360 minutes now!!
  We promised you unlimited time, we know,
  but can’t you just finish up NOW and go read a good book?
• You have been online for 467 minutes.
  Do you remember your family members’ names?
• You have been online for 513 minutes.
  Your husband has left you and your dog is starving.
  Do you wish to remain online?
• You have been online 724 minutes.
  Steve Case is coming personally to your house to yank the phone cord….
• You have been online 852 minutes,
  do you KNOW how many HOURS that is???”
• You have been online for 921 minutes.
  Do you realize that AOL averages 921 complaints per hour about busy phone lines?
  Do you realize that AOL receives 9.21 lawsuits per day due to busy phone lines?
  Please sign-off to reduce these averages, or go to keyword: CLASS ACTION to join a lawsuit.
• You have been online for 967 minutes.
  When AOL went unlimited they didn’t think you would take it literally.
  Now get the H*ll off before we go broke!
• You have been on 1,013 minutes.
  This is Steve I need to sign on m’self and answer some mail.
  Could you please sign off? Thanks!
• You have been cybering for 1059 minutes.
  Didn’t your mom ever tell you that’d make you go blind?
  Please sign off now while you can still read this message.
• You have been on 1105 minutes.
  Are you and your family chatting in shifts?
  Geez click ok already!!!
• You have been on 1151 minutes.
  Welcome to our team…
  …see job application enclosed, (If you can’t beat em hire ’em)
  but don’t return by email.