Why Aren’t You Married Yet?

  • You haven’t asked yet.
  • I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
  • What? And spoil my great sex life?
  • Nobody would believe me wearing white.
  • Just lucky, I guess.
  • It gives my mother something to live for.
  • My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
  • I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
  • Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
  • I’m waiting until I get to be your age.
  • It didn’t seem worth a blood test.
  • I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
  • Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
  • They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
  • I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
  • I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.
  • What? And lose all the money I’ve invested in running personal ads?
  • We really want to, but my lover’s spouse just won’t go for it.
  • I don’t want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
  • Why aren’t you thin?
  • I’m married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
  • (Bonus reply for single mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.