Men Versus Women, Round 2

  • Why do men become smarter during sex?
    (because they are plugged into a genius)
  • Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
    (they don’t have enough time)
  • Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    (they don’t stop for directions)
  • Why did God put men on earth?
    (because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn)
  • Why don’t women have men’s brains?
    (because they don’t have penises to put them in)
  • What do electri trains and breasts have in common?
    (they’re intended for children but men usually end up playing with them)
  • Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
    (because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)
  • Why do men masturbate?
    (it is sex with someone they love)
  • Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
    (so they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties)
  • Why did God make men before women?
    (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
  • Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white?
    (so he can tell if he’s coming or going)
  • How many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?
    (nobody knows, since it has never happened)
  • Arguments: A woman has the last word in any argument.
    (Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument)