- You should feel guilty.
- Of course you have to pay for missed appointments.
- Quit complaining and get a cat.
- If sex isn’t dirty, you’re doing it wrong.
- You’re not really ugly. You’re just funny looking.
- Reality. Try it!
- Quit blaming your mother. It’s your father’s fault.
- Learn to dread one day at a time.
- If you’re really happy, you must be in denial.
- You’re still having a lousy childhood. Get help!
- Being happy isn’t for everyone.
- If you hear voices telling you to go to Hawaii, obey. Just don’t think about it.
- This is as good as it gets.
- If your inner child robs a bank, it’s you who will go to jail.
- Before you start a 12-step program, be sure to see a podiatrist.
- Sex is no problem. No sex is a problem.
- Only hams get cured. Uh-huh.
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