- A is for Alimony … the gift that keeps on giving.
- B is for Balls … which are now ours again.
- C is for Court … where you finally find out the meaning of a good screw.
- D is for Divorce … the alternative to ax murder.
- E is for Equitable Distribution … another oxymoron.
- F is for Flatulence … finally we can let loose without being criticized for causing the flowers to wilt.
- G is for Gandhi…someone you could actually say had lost weight without having to lie.
- H is for House … which the bitch also got.
- I is for Inmate … where you also get to room with Bubba when the child support is late.
- J is for Jewelry … the former great equalizer.
- K is for Kids … the best of everything.
- L is for Lawyer … whose most recent vacation you just paid for.
- M is for Mother … and Oh what a Mother F*cker!!!!!!
- N is for Not tonight, I have a headache.
- O is for Overdrawn … what your checking account always was.
- P is for PMS … what we say: “No, honey, you don’t look like you’re retaining water.” …what we mean, “No wonder there’s a citywide drought.”
- Q is for Quarter … what YOU get for each dollar SHE gets.
- R is for Rehearsal Dinner … should never have stayed for dessert.
- S is for Sex … thank goodness she rolled in her sleep.
- T is for Throat … the anatomic area she goes for in the settlement.
- U is for UPS … the delivery guy you are on a first name basis with, and who spent more time at your house than you did.
- V is for Visa … one of several cards she maxed out.
- W is for Wrong … which you always were.
- X is for X chromosome … I swear some women have more than two!
- Y is for Yacht … maybe the next guy will have one.
- Z is for Zirconium … I wonder if she ever figured out that all her diamonds were Cubic Zirconium.
error: Content is protected !!