- “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”
- “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
- “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”
- “Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”
- “Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
- “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”
- “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
- “Life’s tough, it’s tougher if you’re stupid.”
- “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”
- “Just how big were those two beers?
- “In God we trust, all others are suspects.”
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