Odd Facts

  • The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
  • On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.
  • All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
  • No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
  • “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
  • All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
  • Almonds are members of the peach family.
  • Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
  • Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
  • There are only four words in the English language which end in”-dous” tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
  • The longest place-name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoro
    nukupokaiwenuakit, a natahu, a New Zealand hill… … What a great scrabble score – huh?…
  • Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula” and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, “L.A.”
  • A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  • An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.
  • Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  • In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
  • Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  • The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
  • The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra’s “Its A Wonderful Life”.
  • A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
  • A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
  • On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the “1” encased in the “shield” and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
  • It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
  • The male gypsy moth can “smell” the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away.
  • The name for Oz in the “Wizard of Oz” was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence “Oz.”
  • The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
  • Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
  • John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
  • The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
  • To “testify” was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

Observations on Life

by Dave Barry
  • Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
  • There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
  • People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  • And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
  • You should not confuse your career with your life.
  • No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  • When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
  • Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
  • Never lick a steak knife.
  • Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
  • The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
  • You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  • You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  • There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
  • “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
  • The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
  • A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  • Your friends love you anyway.

Why All These Old Cliches Are Nonsense

  • “Everything Comes in Threes”
    Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.
  • “You Can’t Take It With You (When you die)”
    Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.
  • “You Learn Something New Every Day”
    Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you’ve just learned it doesn’t mean it’s new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this.
  • “The Sky’s The Limit”
    Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit is that? The earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep getting? More earth. The earth is the limit.
  • “You Get What You Pay For”
    Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your purchases carefully, you’ll find that you get whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.
  • “Tomorrow Is Another Day”
    Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can’t be sure. If it happens, I’ll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be today again.
  • “Nice Guys Finish Last”
    Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.
  • “If You’ve Seen One, You’ve Seen Them All”
    Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen … one. If you’ve seen them all, *then* you’ve seen them all. I don’t even understand how this one got started.
  • “Those Were the Days”
    No. Those were the nights! Think back. Weren’t the nights better? Days you had to work. Nights you went to parties, danced, drank and got laid. “Those were the nights!”
  • “There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch”
    What about when you eat at home? I don’t pay when I eat lunch at home – it’s FREE! Sometimes I’ll leave a tip, but basically, it’s a free lunch. Yes, I know we had to buy the food at the store. But as the Zen Buddhists say, ‘The Food Is Not the Lunch’.
  • “You Pay Your Money, and You Take Your Chances”
    I think what I said earlier still applies” You pays your money and you takes whatever they jolly well give you. Actually, when you get right down to it, you pays your money and you loses your money.
  • “Everybody Has His Price”
    Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people who do not have their price? Thanks to a government mix-up, many people have their neighbors price.
  • “They Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To”
    Actually they do make ’em like they used to, they just don’t sell ’em anymore. They make ’em, and then they keep ’em.
  • “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right”
    Well, it just so happens that two wrongs do make a right. Not only that, but as the number of wrongs increases, the whole thing goes up exponentially. So that while two wrongs make one right, and four wrongs make two rights, it actually takes sixteen wrongs to make three rights, and 256 wrongs to make four rights. It seems to me that anyone who is stringing together 256 wrongs needs counseling, not mathematics.
  • “If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another”
    No, not always. Sometimes if it’s not one thing, not only is it not another, but it turns out to be something else entirely.
  • “You Can’t Win Them All”
    Not true. Believe it or not, there is a man somewhere in Illinois who, so far, has won them all. But don’t get too excited; it has also been discovered that it is possible to lose them all. By the way, there is no record of anyone having tied them all.
  • “You Can’t Have it Both Ways”
    That depends on how intimately you know the other person. Maybe you can’t have it both ways at once, but if you’ve got a little time, you can probably have it six or seven ways.
  • “Things Have to get Better, They Can’t Get Any Worse”
    This is an example of truly faulty logic. Just because things can’t get any worse, is no reason to believe they have to get better. They might just stay the same. And, by the way, who says things can’t get any worse? For many people, things get worse and worse and worse and worse.
  • “Nobody Ever Said that Life Was Fair”
    I specifically remember as I was growing up, at least twelve different people, telling me life was fair. One person put it this way; “Life, you will find, is fair.” Oddly enough, all twelve of those people died before the age of twenty-seven.
  • “It Takes Two to Tango”
    Sounds good, but simple reasoning will reveal that actually it takes only one to tango. It does take two to tango together, maybe. But one person is certainly capable of tangoing on his own. He just might look a little silly.
  • “There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute, and Two to Take Him”
    This may have been true in the past, but now, if you adjust for the increased population base, birth control, and the so-called moral decline, not only are there five suckers born every minute, there are now fifty-three to take him.
  • “What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You”
    Why don’t we just ask Julius Caesar and John F. Kennedy about this one?
  • “Life is Short”
    Sorry. Life is not short, it’s just that everything else lasts so long – mountains, rivers, stars, planets – life seems short. Actually life lasts just the right amount of time. Until you die. Death on the other hand….is very, very short.

Why Some Countries Can’t Go Metric

If the metric system did ever take over, we’d have to change our thinking to the following:

  • A miss is as good as 1.1 kilometers.
  • Put your best 0.3 of a meter forward.
  • Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
  • Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
  • Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he’ll take 1.06 kilometers.
  • Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.

Opening a New Checking Account

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that life seems a bit more complicated than in days of yesteryear?

For example, I went to a bank to open a checking account the other day. When I opened my first account, decades ago, it took about 15 minutes. I gave the lady my drivers license, signed a card and was given a small book of checks. Back then, we had our choice of check colors… as long as it was blue; but now…

I entered the bank, with my drivers license in hand and a desire for an account. I was greeted by a clipboard requiring my name, the date and time, who I wished to see, why I had come to the bank and a partridge in a pear tree.

Noting the 12 names ahead of mine, I scanned the room to try to match them with the faces. A strange urge came over me, “Gomez party of 4, your table is ready…” but I resisted and took a seat among a band of some rather unsavory toddlers.

Fortunately I did not have to wait long. Time always passes quickly when one counts the holes in overhead ceiling tiles.

A thirtyish, ex-military type, corporate executive wannabe tried to pronounce my name; poorly. As I approached, she extended her hand, quickly. I wasn’t sure if she wanted to check my waistband for weapons or offer a handshake. Just to be safe, I put my hand in hers.

She asked, “What may I do for you?”

I thought to myself, “You can avoid breaking the rest of my knuckles!” but said, “Checking account, open.”

She pointed to a chair, at a desk and said, “Sit,” much the way I do to my dog, then added, “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

This gave me a chance to realign the joints in my fingers. When she returned she asked, “Now sir, which type of account?”

“First, the ‘sir’ isn’t necessary. I’m not that old.” I protested.

“It’s part of our procedure; sir.” she replied with the warmth of a Buffalo blizzard.

“Oh,” I cleverly replied. “Well, I’d like to open a checking account.”

“What TYPE, sir?”

“Uh, the type you put money into and write checks,” I replied; totally unaware of the conflict I had become a party to.

“SIR, this institution offers 55 different TYPES of checking accounts!” Miss Congeniality stated.

“Well, I only need one, thank you. Maybe you could tell me something about EACH of them,” I responded, fully expecting her to hand me some sort of brochure. But she actually began describing the attributes of EACH one.

After about a dozen, and her showing no signs of verbal exhaustion, I interrupted, “How about the first one?”

“Yes sir, that would be the ‘Silver Eagle Plan’, no interest, $10 monthly fee with a minor charge for deposits and withdrawals, no minimum balance, over 40 but under 50 years old, head of household, ATM card, no overdraft protection, basic service,” she stated without reading from a paper. Maybe they use hypnosis.

“What if I wanted interest?” I inquired.

“That would be the ‘Auburn Falcon Plus Plan’ if you maintain a minimum daily balance of $5000. 2.3% adjusted quarterly,” she rattled off.

“2.3% is hardly worth it,” I casually stated; without saying that I’ve never had $5000 in a checking account. “Oh, I’ll need an ATM card for my wife. She collects plastic.”

“Than you want the ‘White Dove Bonus Plan’,” she stated with the tone of the time and temperature recording.

“Who feeds all these birds? Maybe you have something in royal purple with lace,” I asked, which was met by a stare which felt like frozen daggers.

Changing the subject quickly, “A friend told me that your ATMs were down because the LA earthquake damaged the satellite link between here and the head office.”

“You have a friend who has an account with us?” she asked, “I’ll make a note of that, sir.” I didn’t even want to know why.

“I guess I’ll take that white bird thing.” I said, hoping to conclude this ordeal.

“The ‘WHITE DOVE BONUS PLAN’, sir,” Miss Proper countered, “Fine, may I have your documentation?”


“Identification, sir,” she stated with the efficiency of a Cuban border guard.

I laid my drivers license on the desk. She waited; apparently unsatisfied, “Sir, I will need the rest of it.”

“I only have one drivers license,” I said in a confused manner.

“We require state identification, drivers license or state photo ID; federal identification, Social Security Card and either a passport or Dept. of Immigration documents; county identification, birth certificate or alien waiver plus mail addressed to your residence; and commercial identification, 3 major credit cards; and your green card, sir,” she stated in one breath.

“WHAT?! GREEN CARD? I’m a citizen! I just happen to live in Miami!” I protested.

“In that case, may I see your drivers license, sir?” she said in a monotone that made me want to check her for a tape player. “Who is authorized to deposit to your account, sir?”

After thinking for a moment, I said, “Anyone who wants to!”

“Would you care to establish electronic transfer deposits, sir?” Miss Ice asked.

“But I thought only money could be deposited.” I remarked.

“Of course you did,” she stated, starting to show signs of annoyance, “What about a CD, sir?”

“No thanks, I haven’t bought a player yet,” I said.

“What would you like to deposit today, sir?”

“I’ve got $500 in $50’s here,” I said proudly.

“Sir, I’m not sure we can accept CASH,” she said, showing the first sign of not knowing something, “Don’t you have a check?”

“No, that’s why I’m opening a checking account.” I said sarcastically.

“Let me check on that,” she said as she scurried off; stopping for a moment to add, Sir.”

Well, to make a short story long, I did open my account, in just under an hour and a half. Today’s checking accounts are a lot like today’s computer programs. They have lots of features, but I’m afraid to try them out.

Someone else actually finished opening my account. It seems Miss Congeniality went into her supervisor’s office and from what I heard the paramedics say, she had a nervous breakdown.

I guess the banking business can be hard on people; and definitely more complicated than the days of yesteryear!

I’m Sure You Wanted to Know That…

  • The “pound” key ( # ) on your keyboard is called an octotroph.
  • The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
  • The “dot” over the letter “i” is called a tittle.
  • Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name.
  • The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
  • Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
  • The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is “Live Free or Die.” These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.
  • Each year there is one ton of cement poured for each man, woman, and child in the world.
  • The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.
  • The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P.
  • The giant red star Betelgeuse has a diameter larger than that of the Earth’s orbit around the sun.
  • Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older.
  • Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  • Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards.
  • A cat’s jaw cannot move sideways.

Life’s Lessons

  • Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
  • Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
  • Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  • Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
  • Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
  • Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
  • The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
  • A person who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
  • Money isn’t everything….there’s credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.
  • Some people are like blisters. They don’t show up until the work is done.
  • A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as his neighbor’s.
  • A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
  • If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never lost.
  • Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  • You are Worthy.
  • Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
  • To not set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
  • Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
  • Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
  • By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
  • Do not give up when you still have something to give.
  • Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other. Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
  • It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
  • The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
  • The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly;
  • In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Do not dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; To be without hope is to be without purpose.
  • Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Real Questions Asked of Librarians

  • “Do you have books here?”
  • “Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”
  • “Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”
  • “I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through Grand Rapids’.” (Actual title wanted: “Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend”)
  • “Do you have that book by Rushdie: ‘Satanic Nurses’?” (Actual title: “Satanic Verses”)
  • “Where is the reference desk?” This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had, hanging above her head, a sign saying “REFERENCE DESK”!
  • “I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”
  • “Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?”
  • “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”
  • “Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”
  • “I need a color photograph of George Washington [Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, etc.]”
  • “I need a photocopy of Booker T. Washington’s birth certificate.”
  • “I need to find out Ibid’s first name for my bibliography.”
  • “Why don’t you have any books by Ibid? He’s written a lot of important stuff.”
  • “I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”
  • “Is the basement upstairs?” (Asked at First Floor Reference Desk)
  • “I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”

A Healthy Dose of Laughter

I read that a child laughs 400 times a day on the average, while an adult laughs only 15 times each day. Which is puzzling since laughter feels so good and is so good for us!

You may know the benefits of laughter on the mind and spirit, but are you aware of how much a good laugh can help you physically? Norman Cousins used to say that laughter is so beneficial physically that it is like “inner jogging.”

Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic Health Letter, March 1993) reports that laughter aids breathing by disrupting your normal respiration pattern and increasing your breathing rate. It can even help clear mucus from your lungs.

Laughter is good for your heart. It increases circulation and improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues throughout your body.

A good laugh helps your immune system fight off colds, flu and sinus problems by increasing the concentration of immunoglobulin A in your saliva. And it may help control pain by raising the levels of certain brain chemicals (endorphins).

It is also a natural stress reliever. Have you ever laughed so hard that you doubled over, fell off your chair, spit out your food or wet your pants? You cannot maintain muscle tension when you are laughing!

The good news is that you are allowed more than 15 laughs a day! Go ahead and double the dose and make it 30 times today. (You may begin to notice your relationships improving!) Then double it again! You are bound to feel better, you will cope with problems more effectively and people will enjoy being around you. If Joke du Jour made you laugh, which is our goal, share your laughter with your friends and family.

Laughter: it’s good medicine, it’s completely organic, it can be shared, it is recyclable and it’s absolutely free!

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

  • If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
  • The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
  • Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he’s carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he’s carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you’re drunk.
  • I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.
  • If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”
  • If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.
  • If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).
  • I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he’s so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.
  • Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself.
    Basically, it’s made up of two separate words “mank” and “ind.”
    What do these words mean? It’s a mystery and that’s why so is mankind.
  • If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.
  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
  • As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
  • I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.
  • During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were “just going down to the corner.”
  • Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
  • If you’re a cowboy and you’re dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
  • For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
  • Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
  • I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.”
  • If you get invited to your first orgy, don’t just show up nude. That’s a common mistake. You have to let nudity “happen.”
  • The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. “Uh-oh,” he thought. “This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.”
  • To me, it’s a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?” You can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.”
  • It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
  • I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.
  • If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
  • Here’s a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don’t know anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy.
  • Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
  • Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon.But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you’d look out your little window and think, “Boy, I’m glad I’m not out in that.”
  • I’d like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he’s flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that’s a documentary.
  • I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I’d have all my money back.
  • If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let’em go, because, man, they’re gone.
  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.