- Alabama — At Least We’re not Mississippi
- Alaska — 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong!
- Arizona — Dehyd-rific!
- Arkansas — Litterasy Ain’t Everthing
- Calfornia — As Seen on TV
- Colorado — If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
- Connecticut — Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
- Florida — Ask Us About Our Grandkids
- Georgia — We Put the “Fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism
- Hawai — Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
- Idaho — More Than Just Potatoes… Well Okay, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
- Illinois — Gateway to Iowa
- Indiana — 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
- Iowa — Land of James T. Kirk
- Kansas — First Of The Rectangle States
- Kentucky — Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
- Louisiana — We’re Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
- Maine — Cheap Lobster
- Maryland — A Thinking Man’s Delaware
- Massachusetts — Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
- Michigan — First Line of Defense From the Canadians
- Minnesota — For Sale
- Mississippi — Come Feel Better About Your Own State
- Missouri — Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
- Montana — Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and Very Little Else
- Nebraska — Ask About Our State Motto Contest
- Nevada — Whores and Poker!
- New Hampshire — Go Away and Leave Us Alone
- New Jersey — You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
- New Mexico — Lizards Make Excellent Pets
- New York — You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
- North Carolina — Tobacco is a Vegetable
- North Dakota — Um… We’ve got… Um… Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
- Ohio — Don’t Judge Us by Cleveland
- Oklahoma — Like the Play, Only No Singing
- Oregon — Spotted Owl, It’s What’s For Dinner
- Pennsylvania — Cook With Coal
- Rhode Island — We’re Not REALLY An Island
- South Carolina — Remember the Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
- South Dakota — Closer Than North Dakota
- Tennessee — >The Educashun State
- Texas — Se Hablo Ingles
- Utah — Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
- Vermont — Yep
- Virginia — Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
- Washington — Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
- Washington, D.C. — Wanna Be Mayor?
- West Virginia — One Big Happy Family — Really!
- Wisconsin — Come Cut Our Cheese
- Wyoming — Wynot? Be good!
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