Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people

I had to kill because they pissed me off!

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are,

the courage to maintain self-control,

and the wisdom to know if I act on it,

I will go to jail!

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept fucktards I cannot change,

and the restraint not to punch them in the face!

Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people,

I never liked anyway,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do,

and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Lord, grant me the sanity to accept the annoying things,

my kids do that I cannot change,

the patience to endure the endless nagging,

that I will have to do to change the things I can,

and just enough wine to know the difference.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept selfish ungrateful people,

for who they are,

and the courage not to become bitter,

and the wisdom not to let it ever happen again.

Lord, give me enough coffee

to change the things that need to change,

and enough spare change

to make that coffee as large as it possibly can be.