New Phobias

  • Shrinkaphobia
    “Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain’t getting in that cold water!”
  • Carmenelectraphobia
    “Get that *(^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!!”
  • Oldfartophobia
    “He’s coming straight for us–with his left turn signal on!”
  • Windophobia
    “You have to push ‘Start’ to turn the damn computer off?!”
  • ThetaFetaMetaBetaphobia
    “I won’t go to your frat house to eat gyros and watch a tape of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra on your old Sony VCR!”
  • Buttcrackaphobia
    “No!! Don’t call the plumber!!!”
  • Phoebephobia
    “No, I don’t want to watch ‘Friends.’ That blonde chick freaks me out.”
  • Probeophobia
    “Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove?”
  • Rentanotherpornophobia
    “You’re busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then?”
  • Homophobophobia
    “It’s NOT my imagination! Senator Helms is looking at me “that” way again!”
  • Smallpenisphobia
    “Honey, I bought a Corvette!”