Signs You’re Watching a Low-Budget Movie

  • Most of the special effects involve Legos.
  • View out the spaceship “window” looks an awful lot like your screen saver.
  • Flushing sounds heard before waterfall scenes.
  • Big chase scene marred by Hot WheelTM trestle failure.
  • Something tells you that “Star Wars Episode II: Porky’s Revenge” isn’t a George Lucas production.
  • Sociopathic slasher’s weapon of choice: grapefruit spoon.
  • That “LOW BATT” you see isn’t a subtitle.
  • Hard to believe an International Superspy would drive a Gremlin.
  • “Computer generated characters” are created by combining a colon and parentheses.
  • The boom mike is in so many shots, it gets over-the-title billing.
  • During the dramatic shot of the ocean liner sinking, you can clearly see a gigantic bar of Ivory Soap in the background.
  • Either that’s a zipper or Godzilla has had a vasectomy.
  • “Starring Tae Bo master Billy Blanks as Nelson Mandela.”
  • That “alien monster” looks suspiciously like someone’s genitalia.