Signs You’ve Been in Leeds Too Long

  • You are unaware of any other club culture except Leeds.
  • You get secretly excited when people say Leeds is the new big thing.
  • You fool yourself into thinking you can afford to shop at Harvey Nicks by going to the restaurant and ordering a water- and taking five hours to drink it.
  • Ladies: you dress like a tart out of Ibiza Uncovered for a night out.
  • Gents: you act like a wanker from Ibiza Uncovered for a night out.
  • You’ll go into a designer shop at the start of the new season and ask how much something will be in the end of season sale.
  • You go around Harvey Nicks to see what’s in fashion, then run over to TopShop and buy something similar – and then lie about where you got it from.
  • You see Leeds United players beating someone up/slagging a blonde in Majestyk and don’t think anything of it.
  • You think Londoners are ponces and that London is ‘crap’, but you’ve never been as you can’t afford the fare, and mum won’t let you borrow the mini.
  • You hate students – even though you are one.
  • Leeds is the centre of your universe – you can’t ever imagine leaving. Until you leave, then you can’t ever imagine going back.