- Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you.
- You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
- You believe in serial spraying of Prozac.
- Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.
- You believe that “Shallow Gene Pool” should be a diagnosis.
- You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce.
- You think unspeakable evil will befall you is anyone says: “Boy, it sure is quiet around here.”
- When you are out in public, you compliment complete strangers on their veins.
- You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide – Getting It Right The First Time.”
- You have ever had to leave a patient’s room before laughing hysterically.
- You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
- You have ever restrained someone, and it was not a sexual experience.
- You commonly utter the phrase: “What changed tonight at 2am that made this emergency after 6 months?!”
- You believe that “Too Stupid To Live” should be a diagnosis.
- You think putting a Valium salt lick in the ER waiting room is a novel idea.
- When you mention vegetables, you are not thinking of a food group.
- You have been exposed to so many x-rays you don’t even bother with birth control.
- You have used the words “Healthcare Reform” to strike fear in the hearts of your co-workers.
- You have heard, “Why, I don’t know how that got stuck there” too many times.
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