- Upon delivery, you discover the egg contains a pair of pantyhose.
- Thousands of years of evolution shot all to hell.
- Sure, you can *buy* them now — but you have to wait over 18 years before you can legally have sex with your purchase.
- Health conscious models always removing the yolks first.
- Conception only possible with sperm from an androgynous rock star.
- Baby will insist that umbilical cord be cut only by Vidal Sassoon himself.
- Child Protective Services worker just doesn’t appreciate how it can eventually get to you when every time you tell him to take out the trash, he enigmatically whispers, “Obsession.”
- Other kids and their vicious taunts: “Don’t hate me because I’m sunny-side up!”
- You’ll spend a king’s ransom for ipecac syrup for the baby.
- The kid grows up to resent you because that willowy frame, those long thin legs and those exquisitely tiny hands kept him off the varsity football team.
- Photo shoot wind machine keeps blowing your boys upstream.
- With your luck, you’ll get the egg with recessive supermodel genes and dominant webmaster genes.
- Tough for Mr. Tripp to explain to perfectly-fertile wife, Linda.
- Upside: Your daughter looks like Kathy Ireland!
Downside: Your daughter thinks like Kathy Ireland!
- Model eggs rebel at the very thought of being inseminated with *your* ugly-ass nerd sperm.
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