Clones

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly grey.
It didn’t have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.

It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.

And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.

No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn’t vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.

But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?

Clone of My Own

(To the tune of “Home on the Range”)

Oh, give me a clone,
With the genes like my own,
But convert my Y to an X.
And since she’s like me,
It’s a sure certainty,
That she’ll think of nothing but sex.

(Chorus)

Clone, clone of my own,
Who’s always eager to play,
Means we’ll have great fun,
And I’ll only need one,
So please get her started today.

As long as you’re mixing,
Some genes could use fixing,
To make her the best she can be.
Blond hair and blue eyes,
And a skinnier size,
And an IQ a bit less than me.

(chorus)

Please send me my clone,
Just as soon as she’s grown,
Past the virtual age of eighteen.
I’m tired of dating,
And eagerly waiting,
To make it on the cloning scene.

(chorus)