Chelsea at College

Chelsea Clinton went off to college and came back home for the holidays. Hillary was quite happy to see her daughter and pressed her for information about college.

“So, are you enjoying college, dear?” she asked.

Chelsea nodded vigorously.

“And are there boys in college?” Hillary questioned.

Once again, Chelsea nodded with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

Hillary, unable to resist and curious about her daughter’s activities, went on to ask, “And are you having sex with these boys?”

Chelsea burst out laughing. After a moment, she straightened, stared into her mother’s eyes, and said, “Not according to Dad.”

Chelsea Clinton Looking for Love

One Sunday morning, Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, “Mom and Dad, I have some great news for you. I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington! He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt.”

After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. “Honey, I have to talk with you. Your Mother and I have been married a long time. She’s a wonderful wife but she’s never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I have fooled around with other women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I’m afraid you can’t marry him.” Chelsea was heartbroken, but after eight months she eventually started dating again.

A year later she came home and very proudly announced, “Robert asked me to marry him! We’re getting married in June.” Again, her father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. “Robert is your half-brother too, Honey. I’m awfully sorry about this.” Chelsea became furious upon hearing what her Dad had to say.

She decided to go to her Mother and tell her about his numerous infidelities. After Chelsea told her Mom everything, she concluded crying, “Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married. Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother.”

Hillary just shook her head and replied, “Don’t pay any attention to what he says dear. He’s not really your father.”