Protecting a Floppy Drive

Note – This was originally for floppy drives, but it also applies to optical drives (CD ROMs!)

One day while returning to my desk after a routine call, one of our blonde female employees flagged me down and asked for help.

“My floppy drive won’t work, can you help me?”

I told her I’d take a look and proceeded over to her machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5″ floppy drive.

While I spent the next 20 minutes getting her disk out and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys in the corner of the office trying awful hard to keep a straight face. Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the plastic got into the drive.

“Oh, you mean the condom!”


“Yes, John and Dave over there told me to always put a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent catching viruses.”

By this point John and Dave were roaring and it was all I could do to keep from joining them. The “condom” turned out to be a standard 3.5″ plastic sleeve. I delicately explained to her that a practical joke had been played and she shouldn’t do that anymore, then she asked in a dead-serious voice:

“Does that mean I don’t have to stroke it ten times or blow on it either?”

Pressing F1 for Help

A friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon when he noticed a blonde sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.

After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help. She snapped, “It’s about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!”