From the folks at Hallmark.com and their creation, Maxine the Queen of Crabbiness, here are 10 ways to ensure getting audited by the IRS:

1. Pay in pennies (delivered by sling slot).
2. Deduct calls made to the Psychic Network in an attempt to get winning PowerBall numbers.
3. Claim your cat as a dependent.
4. Claim charitable deductions that equal more than your income.
5. On the line that asks what you made this year, answer “Trouble.”
6. Deduct adoption costs associated with adopting a new personality.
7. Claim a home office deduction based on all the in-home counseling you give to friends and family.
8. Wait till the last minute and copy the numbers from the guy standing next to you in line at the post office.
9. Fill out your forms in yellow crayon.
10. Detail 11,215 Internet stock trades — and claim you came out exactly even.