The Budweiser Incident

How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001…

Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield, California. To those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York, Pennsylvania, and the Pentagon.

On September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval and support of this treacherous attack. Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event.

He didn’t feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him, “Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We’ll never deliver to them again.”

The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face. He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community. Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation!!

And now the rest of the story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit!

At last report, the store was closed indefinitely. Good old American Passive-Agressive Ass Whoopin’! Pass this along. America needs to know that we’re all working together.

Game On

September 11, 2001

Dear Taliban, Mr. Bin Laden, and Mr. Hussein, et al:

We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing without them for the first time. Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that We will toast you — LITERALLY. While we will admit that you are off to an Impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate. By the way, we will be playing on your diamond now… Batter up!

Our team line up is as follows:

  • Manager ~ George W. Bush
  • Assistant Manager ~ Dick Cheney
  • Head Coach ~ Colin Powell
  • Assistant Coach ~ Donald Rumsfeld
  • Starting Pitcher ~ Norman Schwartzkoff
  • 1st Base ~ U. S. Marine Corps
  • 2nd Base ~ U. S. Navy
  • 3rd Base ~ U.S. Air Force
  • Shortstop and clean up hitter ~ U. S. Army
  • Outfield ~ Firemen and Policemen
  • Umpire ~ None Required * Remember – the manager told you there’ll be No discussion; no negotiation!

Pinch hitters as needed ~

  • U.S. Navy SEALS
  • U.S. Army Green Berets
  • U.S. Army Rangers
  • U.S. Air Force PJs
  • Delta Force

And, since there are no rules, we’ve decided to add:

  • 4th Base ~ United Kingdom
  • 5th Base ~ Russia
  • 6th Base ~ China
  • Other Bases (as desired) ~ Pakistan, Japan, Germany, France, Spain, Italy “Turkistan and lots of other …stans” and more.

Opening Ceremonies:

  • Vocal 1: Celine Dion ~ The Star Spangled Banner
  • Vocal 2: Lee Greenwood ~ God Bless The U.S.A.
  • Vocal 3: Neil Diamond ~ Comin’ To America
  • Vocal 4: Bruce Springstein ~ Born In The U.S.A.
  • Vocal 5: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ~ Battle Hymn of the Republic

You may choose whoever you want for your team … it won’t really matter (even if you all shave), our guys are gonna win!!!


On behalf of the 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America

P.S. May we recommend at this time that you give your soul to Allah; ‘Cause your ass is ours! Goodbye

The Number 11

The date of the attack: 9/11 – 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.
119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11
Twin Towers – standing side by side, looks like the number 11
The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11
State of New York – The 11th State added to the Union
New York City – 11 Letters
Afghanistan – 11 Letters
The Pentagon – 11 Letters
Ramzi Yousef – 11 Letters (convicted or orchestrating the attack at the WTC in 1993)
Flight 11 – 92 on board – 9 + 2 = 11
Flight 77 – 65 on board – 6 + 5 = 11

Now, this guy named Dave took all of this, and came up with the following response:

  • Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in the name “David Pawson!” I’m going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.
  • Wait a sec … just realized “YOU CAN’T HIDE” also has 11 letters! What am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me! ME! I can’t believe it!
  • Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide! But no …”PLANET EARTH” has 11 letters, too!
  • Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11 letters in “NOSTRADAMUS.”
  • I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can’t… 11 letters in “THE RED CROSS,” can’t trust them.
  • I would rely on self defense, but “SELF DEFENSE” has 11 letters in it, too! Can someone help?
  • Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don’t… “SEND ME EMAIL” has 11 letters….
  • Will this never end? I’m going insane! “GOING INSANE???” Eleven letters!!
  • Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I’ll die alone, even though “I’LL DIE ALONE” has 11 letters…..
  • Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day is July 4th … 7/4 … 7+4=11!
  • PS. “IT’S BULLSHIT” has 11 letters also.