5 Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Tech Support

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  1. “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”
  2. “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”
  3. “Your problem can be fixed, but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”

  4. “Press 1 for Support.
    Press 2 if you’re with ‘60 minutes.’
    Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”

  5. “Hold on a second, please … Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”