5 Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Tech Support

  1. “Duuuuuude! Bummer!”
  2. “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”
  3. “Your problem can be fixed, but you’re going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”
  4. “Press 1 for Support.
    Press 2 if you’re with ‘60 minutes.’
    Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.”
  5. “Hold on a second, please … Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”