Overheard at the Las Vegas Computer Convention

  • “Oh, come on — Kirk can beat up Picard any day of the week!”
  • “Empty the trash cans, someone’s lost another retainer!”
  • “I’m sorry, Mr. Gates — this is a $10 minimum table, the $5 minimum tables are over there.”
  • “No, sir, we can’t accept Apple stock to cover your gambling debts.”
  • “Just shut up and give me the trinkets, booth weasel!”
  • “Free Pocket Protectors at Booth 283! Pass it on!”
  • “Hey, if we all share a limo ride back to the hotel, we can split that dollar tip nine ways.”
  • “Well, the Chicken Ranch was okay – but I liked ‘Virtual Monique’ better.”
  • “…so Dilbert says to Wally…”
  • “My dad said if I hacked the Federal Reserve one more time, he’d take away my Nintendo.”
  • “…so I said, ‘That’s no hexadecimal assembly code, that’s my self-modifying subroutine.’ But seriously, folks…”
  • “I don’t care if you ARE a CEO, nobody gets in under 21.”
  • “Marc Andreeson to the courtesy desk — Your mother wants to know what time you’ll be home for dinner…”
  • “They call this a breakfast buffet? Where’s the Jolt Cola and Doritos?”
  • “Hey — where are all the chicks??”