- My love for you… it came and went.
So your feet are now in wet cement.
- I’m here To fulfill your fondest wishes
Now that your husband sleeps with the fishes.
- Lie down with me — it’s my final offa,
Or you’ll be lying wit’ Jimmy Hoffa.
- I picked up this card from a slim selection
But that’s all they offer here in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe
- I’ve waited so long for you to be mine.
Now that Sinatra’s dead, be *my* Valentine.
- Be my Valentine,
and we can do it execution-style.
- Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass;
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I’ll have to whack your ass.
- Violets are blue,
roses are red,
I blew up your car
So why ain’t you dead?
- The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look
You’d bear a son, and now that’s done,
So shut your mouth and cook!
- Youse da greatest.
Youse da best.
But you’re as untouchable
as Elliot Ness.
- Lust is fleeting,
true love lingers.
Be mine always
and you’ll keep your fingers.
- Hope da chocolates is good, but y’know,
dis ain’t really what a guy’s heart looks like.
- Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand
So I won’t be a self-made man.
- When a goon makes you die,
Cuz you told him goodbye
— that’s amore!
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