- See photo of interviewer’s family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.
- Ask if there is only one emergency exit, grin and say; ‘Boy!, I bet this floor would be in trouble if someone barricaded that.’
- Constantly fidget with underwear waistband, then blurt: ‘The strawberry ones are the stickiest, don’t ya’ think?’
- After detailing your greatest achievement, qualify with, ‘Of course I was totally hammered at the time.’
- Inquire on office policy of friends staying over.
- Claim you wouldn’t even need a sit-in’ job if Al Einstein hadn’t stolen your secret patent for- ‘2000 Flushes’
- Over-emphasize your ability to use a copier.
- Ask if it’s O.K. that you sit on the floor.
- Allow that you would little impact on the overhead budget, because you swiped all the supplies from your other job.
- Although parking was free, insist that they validate something or you’re not leaving.
- Mention your resume would have been stronger, but you didn’t feel like making anything else up.
- Ask a secretary if she’ll sit on your lap during interview.
- Walk into interviewer’s office with a tape measure, measure office from a few angles, put away, declare; ‘NOW we can begin.’
- When making small talk and the Simpson trial comes up, shout, “You mean Homer and Marge are in some kind of trouble?”, and run out of the room.
- Sniff two of your fingers, hold out toward interviewer, and ask; ‘Smell these, these smell funny to you???’
- Upon walking in to the office for first time ask reception to hold all your calls.
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