Chain Letter Fertilizer Club

Dear Friend:

This letter is being sent to you because I know you are interested in having a beautiful lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer club and it will not cost you one cent. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and shit on the lawn. You will not be the only one there, so don’t be embarrassed.

Make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate good lawns.

You will not get any money or checks, but within one week, if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people shitting on your lawn. Your reward will come next summer when you have the greenest lawn in the neighborhood.

  • Mrs. Ima Enama
    15 W. Sore Hinne Rd.
    Seapwater Gap, PA
  • Mrs. Max Stink
    1605 Grunt’n’Groan Ave.
    Forcet, DE
  • Mr. Harry Butt
    236 Corn Cob Alley
    Flushing, NY
  • Mrs. Lucy Bowells
    452 Diahrrea Dr.
    Runnytown, PA
  • Mrs. Tom Tightsqueeze
    697 Grunt Ave.
    Movement, IL
  • Mrs. Opal Crapp
    2255 Enema Dr.
    Clearview, FL
  • Mr. Howie Fartz
    Constipation Blvd.
    Squeezethru, NY
  • Mrs. Smelly Buttz
    935 Bed Pan Alley
    Emptyit, MD
  • Mr. Charles Syringe
    2 Suppository Lane
    Smellytown, OR
  • Mrs. I. Doitdaily
    365 Hopperseat Rd.
    Manurepile, MA
  • Mr. G. Howett Smells
    117 Foreign Matters Bl.
    Stinkerville, MS
  • Mrs. Kelly B. Hind
    428 Gashouse Rd.
    Oily Flats, PA
  • Mrs. A Biggermovement
    53 Rectum Pl.
    Rearview, FL
  • Mrs. B. Poopado
    Out House Lane
    Scoupditch, PA

P.S. If you are constipated, pass this on to your neighbor… Do not break the chain. One man didn’t give a shit and he lost his

entire lawn.