Signs You’ve Been in Paris Too Long

  • You prefer dogs to people.
  • You’ve forgotten how to shave.
  • You spit on the street and think nothing of it.
  • You find it hard not to be sleazy when wooing members of the opposite sex.
  • You smoke instead of eating.
  • You consider two bottles of wine an ‘aperitif’
  • You won’t buy anything unless it is in black.
  • You have a strange aversion to the British, Belgians or anyone else for that matter.
  • You refuse to speak English – even to your parents.
  • You smoke on the underground – even when you get back to the UK.