- You prefer dogs to people.
- You’ve forgotten how to shave.
- You spit on the street and think nothing of it.
- You find it hard not to be sleazy when wooing members of the opposite sex.
- You smoke instead of eating.
- You consider two bottles of wine an ‘aperitif’
- You won’t buy anything unless it is in black.
- You have a strange aversion to the British, Belgians or anyone else for that matter.
- You refuse to speak English – even to your parents.
- You smoke on the underground – even when you get back to the UK.
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