Bill Clinton’s Retirement Plans

  • Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her 13 half brothers and sisters.
  • Tour the nations’ prisons to improve conditions, visit friends.
  • Write book: “The American Presidency: An Oral History.”
  • Buy a Hooter’s franchise.
  • Catch up on eight-year stack of “Penthouse.”
  • Search for a new outlet for well-developed lying and cheating skills.
  • Continue work counseling interns.
  • Stop using fake names in personal ads.
  • Take little Buddy out three times a day — also walk the dog.
  • Get to know those Gore girls better.