Osama Bin Laden to Stand Trial for Kicking a Dog

Osama Bin Laden to Stand Trial
for Kicking a Dog

The terrorist Osama Bin Laden was captured in his Afghan outpost by the FBI on charges of “animal cruelty.”

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Director Jacque Schultz reported, “We’ve suspected for a long time that a man who blows up embassies for a living might also be a closet dog kicker.”

Displaying satellite photographs, Schultz explained, “You can see from the satellite scan Bin Laden forcibly kicking a stray dog.” Visibly revulsed, Schultz continued, “How could one man such a monster? How many other helpless animals have felt his sandal against their flanks? We’re just pleased that we could bring him to justice before he hurt a kitty.”

Bin Laden is also charged with writing the song “Achy Breaky Heart” and creating the “Macarena.”