- they don’t sell tickets, they sell chances.
- all the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
- before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
- if you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.
- you cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
- before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
- the Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
- when they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
- the Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
- you ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he sez, “Just once.”
- there’s no movie.  Don’t need one.  Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
- you see a man with a gun, but he’s demanding to be let off the plane.
- all the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
 
	
				
	
			
		
		 
	 
	
	 
	
 
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