Somebody had a contest to see who could make up the stupidest warning labels for various products – these were winners and runners up!
- On a cardboard windshield sun shade: “Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.”
- On an infant’s bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
- On a package of Fisherman’s Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
- On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
- On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.
- On a cup of McDonald’s coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.
- On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2 shipping and a $3 handling charge, for a total of $4.97.
- On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.
- On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
- On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
- On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
- On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
- On Kevorkian’s suicide machine: This product uses carbon monoxide, which has been found to cause cancer in laboratory rats.
- On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.
- On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
- On a calendar: Use of term “Sunday” for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.
- On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.
- On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.
- On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.
- On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.
- On children’s alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
- On a wet suit: Capacity, 1.
- On The Washington Post: Do not cut up and use for blackmail note.