- “Don’t you have some laundry to do, or something?”
- “No, really, I was laughing about…this joke I heard one time.”
- “Ooh, you are so cute when you get all upset.”
- “You’re just upset because your caboose is starting to spread.”
- “Wait a minute, I get it… What time of the month is it?”
- “Are you gonna cry? {Force lip to quiver mockingly} Cry for your mommy?”
- “You sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?”
- “Sorry, I was just picturing you naked.”
- “That reminds me. Next time you go to the store, could you add ‘giant cork’ to the shopping list?”
- “Whoa, time out honey, Frasier’s back.”
- “Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this morning.”
- “Is there anyway we could do this via e-mail?”
- “Hey baby, if I want a lecture about commitment, I can get one from my real wife.”
- “I could so use some oral sexual stimulation right now.”
- “Whom are you kidding? We both know that thing isn’t loaded.”
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