- When you turn on your television, you’ll hear “You’ve got Pay Per View”.
- There will be a mysterious 19 hour period where your cable just wont work.
- Test Patterns: Televisions equivilent to a busy signal.
- Every once in a while you have to have your cable reinstalled.
- 100 Free Trial Hours of Cable Access which you can’t cancel, no matter how hard you try.
- CIA: Cable Instant Alerter. Now all your friends will know when you are watching television.
- Childproof features on cable will prevent you from receiving programs from undesirable sources, including ones you really do want to receive.
- The cable repairman tells you to turn your TV off and back on again when you report your cable is on the fritz…. again.
- Relatives in neighboring towns make fun of you because you don’t have a “real” cable company like they do.
- “You’ve been watching TV too long. Your connection has been terminated.”
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