- Degree on the wall reads “Doctor of Swingology.”
- Keeps repeating, “If you can’t change course, you must divorce.”
- “I’m afraid there’s not much you can do with a penis that small.”
- Her latest book: “Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin’ Bastards”
- “Just shut up and screw” doesn’t seem like very good advice.
- After you’ve earned enough “session points”, you get to choose either a Louisville Slugger or a Tazer gun.
- When you and your spouse claim sexual incompatibility, he throws a couple of pillows on the floor and says, “Prove it.”
- “Communication, schmunication – let’s talk about ‘backdoor love’…”
- “Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Dr. Ike Turner will see you now.”
- You quickly discover that his motto, “Don’t worry, be happy” is pretty much the extent of his knowledge of the English language.
- Always takes Hillary’s side.
- In order to open the lines of communication, she begins the first session by hooking your genitals up to a car battery and tossing your wife the keys.
- Agrees with husband that a request to “honk on Bobo” is foreplay enough.
- “Mrs. Jones, I believe your husband is correct. You are a whiny bitch.”
- Her last name has six hyphens.
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