{"id":97,"date":"2014-12-21T12:42:58","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T12:42:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=97"},"modified":"2014-12-21T12:42:58","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T12:42:58","slug":"all-i-need-to-know-about-life-i-learned-in-the-military","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=97","title":{"rendered":"All I Need to Know About Life I Learned in the Military"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If the enemy is in range, so are you.<\/li>\n<li>Incoming fire has the right of way.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t look conspicuous, it draws fire.<\/li>\n<li>There is always a way.<\/li>\n<li>The easy way is always mined.<\/li>\n<li>Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.<\/li>\n<li>Professionals are predictable, it&#8217;s the amateurs that are dangerous.<\/li>\n<p><li>The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:<br \/> <br \/>\n<OL><br \/>\n<LI>when you are ready for them<\/LI><br \/>\n<LI>when you are not ready for them<\/li>\n<p><\/OL><\/p>\n<li>Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.<\/li>\n<li>If you can&#8217;t remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.<\/li>\n<li>The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.<\/li>\n<li>A &#8220;sucking chest wound&#8221; is nature&#8217;s way of telling you to slow down.<\/li>\n<li>If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.<\/li>\n<li>Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.<\/li>\n<li>Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.<\/li>\n<li>Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won&#8217;t be able to get out.<\/li>\n<li>Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re short of everything but the enemy, you&#8217;re in a combat zone.<\/li>\n<li>When you have secured an area, don&#8217;t forget to tell the enemy.<\/li>\n<li>Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.<\/li>\n<li>If it&#8217;s stupid but it works, it isn&#8217;t stupid.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If the enemy is in range, so are you. Incoming fire has the right of way. Don&#8217;t look conspicuous, it draws fire. There is always a way. The easy way is always mined. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. Professionals are predictable, it&#8217;s the amateurs that are dangerous. The enemy invariably [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[128,924,1011],"class_list":["post-97","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all-i-need","tag-all-i-need","tag-lists","tag-military"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=97"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=97"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=97"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=97"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}