{"id":927,"date":"2014-12-26T12:15:03","date_gmt":"2014-12-26T10:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=927"},"modified":"2014-12-26T12:15:03","modified_gmt":"2014-12-26T10:15:03","slug":"nasty-new-computer-viruses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=927","title":{"rendered":"Nasty New Computer Viruses"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>&#8220;Survivor Virus&#8221;<br \/>\nDeletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Elian Virus<br \/>\nYou can&#8217;t decide what to do with it, until finally the Janet Reno Virus kicks in your door and deletes it.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Microsoft Virus<br \/>\nRenders your computer virtually useless. Also known by the name &#8220;Windows 2000.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Tiger Woods Virus<br \/>\nBeats the holy crap out of you in every computer game you play.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Wonderbra Virus<br \/>\nResults in overflow stack.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>O.J. Virus<br \/>\nEvery time you try to search for a file, it runs &#8220;Pro Golf Tour 2015&#8221; instead.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Britney Spears Virus<br \/>\nYour partitions mysteriously quadruple in size overnight.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>John Rocker Virus<br \/>\nRe-categorizes everything on your computer into a few simple folders that it can understand.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Boulder Police Virus<br \/>\n<br \/>Can&#8217;t even *find* your computer.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Obama Virus<br \/>\nDevelops highly time-consuming ways to spend every cent possible to achieve nothing. Leaves you bankrupt for generations.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Survivor Virus&#8221; Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains. Elian Virus You can&#8217;t decide what to do with it, until finally the Janet Reno Virus kicks in your door and deletes it. Microsoft Virus Renders your computer virtually useless. Also known by the name &#8220;Windows 2000.&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,413],"class_list":["post-927","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-computer-virus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/927","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=927"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/927\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=927"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=927"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=927"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}