{"id":901,"date":"2014-12-25T21:20:34","date_gmt":"2014-12-25T19:20:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=901"},"modified":"2014-12-25T21:20:34","modified_gmt":"2014-12-25T19:20:34","slug":"the-internet-is-like-a-penis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=901","title":{"rendered":"The Internet is Like a Penis"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>It can be up or down. It&#8217;s more fun when it&#8217;s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.<\/li>\n<li>In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that&#8217;s the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.<\/li>\n<li>It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will just do the same damn dumb things it did before.<\/li>\n<li>It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it&#8217;s hard to tell what kind of person you&#8217;re dealing with until it&#8217;s too late. <\/li>\n<li>If you don&#8217;t apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.<\/li>\n<li>It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you&#8217;ll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently. <\/li>\n<li>We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.<\/li>\n<li>It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, &#8220;why on earth did I do that?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Some folks have it, some don&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<li>Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don&#8217;t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.<\/li>\n<li>Those who don&#8217;t have it may agree that it&#8217;s a nifty toy, but think it&#8217;s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don&#8217;t have it would like to try it.<\/li>\n<li>Once you&#8217;ve started playing with it, it&#8217;s hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn&#8217;t have work to do.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It can be up or down. It&#8217;s more fun when it&#8217;s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that&#8217;s the only thing it should be used for, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[406,849],"class_list":["post-901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computers","tag-computer","tag-internet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=901"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/901\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}